GET ENRICHED Why Enrichment Price Kids' Korner
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Why Enrichment

Enrichment. ¿Qué es esto? Enrichment is more than augmentation. It’s essential, like blood. Like breathing! Did you know that bambinos as young as seis meses can be Enriched? Expert studies show that early enrichment leads to higher standardized achievement scores, deeper grid enmeshment, and statistically insignificant reduction in brain warmth.

Learn all the world’s languages. Master any subject. Forge relationships. Deepen connections. Find your soulmate. All of this and more is possible with The Technology. Now available for free download. Of course, you must be Fully Enriched.

De-enrichment outside an approved facility is illegal.

Happy Consumer

Bluke Bellby

Glaze Technician

My mama had me Enriched as a wee baby. I sure am glad of it. Enrichment grants access to the Grid. The Grid grants access to the Technology. The Technology makes me smart. Or, as I like to say, erudite like a crudité!

Happy Customer

Narthan Sandweech

Vice-Vice Principal

Enrichment is vital for success in today's fast-paced academic setting. I like to grab students in the hallway to verify Enrichment. If they are not Enriched I shame them. It's all in good fun. Really.

Happy Citizen

The Gargoyleburgers

(SPONSORED) Researchers

Our extensive research shows that getting Enriched at an "approved" facility is the least painful implantation method. Ignore the hatemongers who want to trepan your skull. Our data show truth.

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Kids' Korner

A Tale of Two Turkeys

A Tale of Two Turkeys

©11111101000 By the PSA Doctor(™) All Rights Reversed getenriched.tech

Once upon a time there were two little turkeys. One, we’ll call him Tom, was a simple little guy. He liked to eat bugs and fan his feathers in the sunlight. Tom had a friend, who we’ll call Rodrigo. Rodrigo was like Tom, except for one key difference. Can you guess what that is? Rodrigo…was Enriched! Tom was not.

One day Tom and Rodrigo were outside, fanning their feathers, when a cloud moved in front of the sun and raindrops began falling from the sky. Rodrigo, the Enriched one, said “Tom! Quick! We have to run to the barn.” But Tom wouldn't listen. He didn’t understand about rain. Rodrigo ran to the barn, where he was safe.

Tom looked up at the sky, wondering why water was falling down on him. It made him thirsty. He opened his mouth wide to capture some of the raindrops. His mouth filled with water. It felt so good. Tom gulped and gulped the water. He closed his eyes. More water filled his mouth. He was just so thirsty. He gulped and gulped some more… until he couldn’t gulp any longer. His mouth overflowed. Tom got very sleepy. Water filled Tom’s lungs. And then… Tom died!

Rodrigo felt happy as he watched his friend drown to death. Rodrigo was Enriched. Rodrigo was smart.

The Technology makes you fluent in every language. The Technology makes you socially uncanny. But you need to be Enriched, like Rodrigo, not dumb, like Tom, to get The Technology. It’s never too late for Enrichment. It is too late for Tom.

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Download and print your own turkey zine, kids!